Son: Dad, will you do my math for me tonight?
Father: No, son, it wouldn’t be right.
Son: Well, you could try.

Jimmy’s mom dragged him in front of his dad during the football game.
“Talk to your son,” she said. “He refuses to obey a word I say.”
The father turned to Jimmy angrily. “Jimmy, how dare you disobey your mother. Do you think you’re better than your old man?”

My husband and I took our two-year-old daughter, Madison, to the home-improvement store.
Madison got tired of walking, so my husband let her ride on his shoulders.
As he walked, Madison began pulling his hair.
Although he asked her to stop several times, she kept on yanking away at his mane.

Getting annoyed, he scolded, “Madison! Stop that!”
“But, Daddy,” she replied, “I’m just trying to get my gum back.”

A girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

By now irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.
The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”
The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.


Robin came screaming out of the bathroom to tell mother he’d dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So mother fished it out and threw it in the garbage.

He stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to mothers bathroom and came out with mothers toothbrush, held it up and said with a charming little smile, “We better throw this one out too then, ’cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents.
At bedtime, the two boys kneeled down beside their beds to say their prayers. Suddenly, the youngest boy began praying at the top of his lungs, “I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE. I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO. I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR…”

His older brother leaned over, nudged his younger brother, and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.”
The little brother replied, “No, but Grandma is!”

A Little boy wrote a letter to God, asking him for $100.
He addressed to envelope “God”, put his return address on it, and dropped it in the corner mailbox.

The postmaster thought this was such a nice gesture from a young child and decided to sent this letter on to President.

President was so touched by the little boy’s sincerity that he told his secretary to send the boy $5.

Upon receiving the money, the boy wrote the following thank you letter:
“Dear God-
Thank you for the money. I noticed you sent it through Washington D.C. and of course, they have deducted $95. Love, Joey”