Teacher: Where does God live?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says,
‘God, are you still in there?’

A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor’s office.
He inquisitively asked the lady, “Why is your stomach so big?”
She replied, “I’m having a baby.”
With big eyes, he asked, “Is the baby in your stomach?”
She answered, “He sure is.”
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, “Is it a good baby?”
She said, “Oh, yes. It’s a real good baby.”
With an even more surprised and shocked look he asked, “Then why did you eat him?”

There were three guys talking in the pub.
Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.
After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, “Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?”.
The third fellow says “I’ll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.”
The first two guys were amazed. “What happened then?” they asked.
He replied, “She said, ‘get out from under the bed and fight like a man’.”


Thw boss dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered, “Hello?” Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, “Is your Daddy home?” “Yes,” whispered the small voice. “May I talk with him?” the man asked.
To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, “No.”
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your Mommy there?” “Yes,” came the answer. “May I talk with her?” Again the small voice whispered, “No.”
Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. “Is there anyone else there in your house?” the boss asked the child.
“Yes,” whispered the child, “a policeman.”
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the Boss asked, “May I speak with the policeman?” “No, he’s busy,” whispered the child.
“Busy doing what?” asked the boss. “Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the fireman,” whispered the child. Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, “What is that noise?”
“A hello-copper,” answered the whispering voice.
“What is going on there?” asked the boss, now alarmed.
In an awed hushed voice the child answered, “The search team just landed the hello-copper.”
Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated, the boss asked, “What are they searching for?”
Still whispering, the young voice replied, along with a muffled giggle: “Me.”

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.”
The old man says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you man and wife.”

There are three kinds of people:
Those who know how to count, and those who don’t.

one day all the electrons were having a party.
Suddenly protons come and start attacking them..and then out of the blue comes a hero and saves those electrons…
The hero says my name is bond….
covalent bond!

A police officer stopped a car which was zigzagging alarmingly and asked the driver what he was doing.
“I am learning to drive.” was the reply.
“What? without an instructor?” exclaimed the officer.
“Oh yes,” answered the driver.”It’s a correspondence course.”

A police officer stopped a car which was zigzagging alarmingly and asked the driver what he was doing.
“I am learning to drive.” was the reply.
“What? without an instructor?” exclaimed the officer.
“Oh yes,” answered the driver.”It’s a correspondence course.”