Does Management know their Staff?

On walking into the factory, the Managing Director of the company
noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.

He approached the young man and calmly said to him,
“How much do you earn?”

The young man was quite amazed
that he was asked such a personal question,
he replied, none the less, “I earn $ 2000.00 a month,
Sir. Why?”

Without answering, the MD took out his wallet
and removed $6000.00 cash and gave it to the young man and said,
“Around here I pay people for working,
not for standing around looking pretty!

Here is your 3 months salary, now GET OUT and don’t come back”.

The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.

Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner,
“And that applies to everybody in this company”.

He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, “Who’s the young man I just fired?”

To which an amazing reply came – “He was the pizza delivery guy , Sir!”

Ramu : Hey.. my submarine is not sinking into the water!! what could be wrong?
Somu : may be u have used float instead of double in the software.

A policeman spotted a jay walker and decided to challenge him, ‘Why are you trying to cross here when there’s a zebra crossing only 20 metres away?’
‘Well,’ replied the jay walker, ‘I hope it’s having better luck than me.’

Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat.
Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, ‘Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!’
The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.

A nursery school teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work.
As she got to little Sarah who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. Sarah replied, ‘I’m drawing God.’ The teacher paused and said, ‘But no one knows what God looks like.’
Sarah replied, ‘They will in a minute’

Three elderly men are at the doctor’s office for a memory test. The doctor asks the first man, “What is three times three?” “274,” came the reply.
The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and says to the second man, “It’s your turn. What is three times three?”
“Tuesday,” replies the second man. The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, “Okay, your turn. What’s three times three?”
“Nine,” says the third man.
“That’s great!” says the doctor. “How did you get that?”
“Simple,” he says, “just subtract 274 from Tuesday.”

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons,
Civil Engineers build targets.